Did we win? or lose?

Did you ever give thought to what was won and lost with women’s liberation?

Of course we needed equal rights and pay in the work place, and to be treated like equals by men everywhere, and in a respectful manner. And not to be treated as sex objects. Something had to be done, and my generation of women did it!!  I’m glad!

But sometimes I think about the consequences, and I’m not always happy with those. The roles of men and women got confusing.

In the old days, women took care of the home and the kids, and men went out to earn a living to support their family. Men were supposed to treat women like ladies, and treat them on dates, and bring them flowers and gifts. That sounds so nice 🙂

But women were treated as “less than”, and were not allowed into certain professions, and were treated as sex objects, and did not receive equal pay or opportunities. It was quite humiliating to be treated that way. I have first hand experience of that.

So, the women’s liberation movement made sure things started to change. Not all at once, but the process was put into place (and laws!), and women started to hold their heads up high and compete.

I know this was confusing for many men of that era. Suddenly, they were being told that they had to stop treating women a certain way, and allow them into their companies, jobs, and clubs. They were told to stop treating them as children, or as sex objects. Women were demanding to earn money, and left the home to do that. Roles were changing.

Could men of that era be sure of what was and wasn’t appropriate behavior? I believe it got very confusing. They weren’t sure if they would get thanked, or yelled at, if they offered to pick up a check. Or if they assumed that a woman wanted to be taken care of in any way.

It got VERY confusing.

For instance, I once went out with a guy who didn’t offer to pick up the check. When I eventually was able to bring that incident up, he defended it by saying “Well, I didn’t know if you would be insulted, with women’s lib, and everything.”

To this day, I am not sure if that was a sincere statement, or just an excuse. I really don’t ! 🙂

But I honestly felt like I had no defense. Because I feel like we are asking to have it both ways.

How can we demand to be treated as equal, and then tell them they have to treat us as special? It’s a paradox.

But I just had an insight, that maybe the answer is that I want to be treated the way I would treat other people.

I am generous and caring, and I offer to treat people sometimes. That is my nature.

And I want a guy to have that generous, caring nature too.

So regardless of women’s lib, and roles, I can still want a guy to show I am important and treat me to dinner.

And i will do that for him sometimes too.

It is more an act of generosity and an act of caring, than it is an act based on a role. Right?

OK. So now I’ve settled it. Regardless of any confusion that women’s lib might have brought on for men, we can adjust to the new roles, and just be kind to each other!

Yes, I still have those days where I wish a guy would come along and say he will support me so I can retire and do whatever I want. Boy do I wish that some days 🙂 But that is not a real wish. It is just a little pity party!

That thought is rooted in an old philoposhy where women stayed home and the men supported them. But that is not me!

I have never been comfortable with that model. I have always wanted to be independent and support myself and my family–and not answer to anyone. That is what women’s liberation was all about.

The truth is, I don’t really need someone to treat me to dinner. I just want to be treated like I am important!

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