I’ve realized recently that people, and especially the women I know, often look for validation from the men in their lives–especially that special man. This is probably true in many relationships, heterosexual or homosexual.
We tend to look for compliments and praise from our other half. And when we don’t get them, we feel bad, like we’re not good enough., or not pretty enough, or not deserving.
What a set up! What are we doing to ourselves?
We set ourselves up to feel bad by craving this acknowledgement. What if we don’t get it? Are we going to just keep waiting for it? and letting this determine who we are, and how great we are? NO!!!!
We are going to create the acknowledgement for ourselves, from within ourselves! We are NOT going to wait for it, and we are NOT going to feel bad when we don’t get it! The truth is, you know your own greatness and don’t need anyone to tell you. But we have this terrible habit of convincing ourselves that we are not great until that special person tells us we are. Why do we do that??
When that voice in your head tells you to feel bad because he forgot a special occasion, or because he didn’t tell you how great you look, or because he went some place and didn’t invite you, STOP !
NOTICE that your voice is sabotaging you and making you feel bad.
INTERRUPT the negative conversation, and the evidence gathering, and remembering the litany of other similar incidents that you can pull out of your mental file to prove you should feel bad. Remind yourself that your other half doesn’t do things to hurt you. He just does things! (or doesn’t! 🙂 It’s not personal, and it’s not on purpose. It is usually by omission. And it doesn’t mean anything! It especially doesn’t mean anything about YOU! It means something about HIM!
REPLACE those negative thoughts with positive thoughts and positive actions. Call someone who really loves you and knows how great you are and TELLS YOU, (like your mom or a good friend).
Arrange to have lunch with someone special in your life, or get a massage, or take a walk.
These negative thoughts are only thoughts! They only have the meaning that YOU give them!
YOU can interrupt them and replace them with something great!
SO DO IT!!!!
Notice, Interrupt and Replace!
Take a stand for yourself, your greatness, and your happiness!!